Jen: What are you doing here? It’s late. Doesn’t this hospital have visitation hours?
Jack: I, uh… flirted with a nurse. I can be quite charming when I want to be.
Jen: What happens when she finds out you’re gay?
Jack: It was a male nurse
Jack: Look, Jen… I would love nothing more than to engage in our patented, meaningless, good-humored Jack-Jen fag-hag banter, but… first I was kinda wondering, I mean, since you’re lying here in this hospital bed and you’re hooked up to all these machines… how come? How come you didn’t tell me, ‘cause I thought I was your best friend?
Jen: Because I didn’t want you to be worried. I was already worrying enough. Because I thought that if I pretended it didn’t exist, it would just go away. Because I like it. I like our… patented, meaningless fag-hag banter, and ‘cause I was scared if I said it out loud, it would be true, because I was just— I was just scared. ‘Cause I was an idiot.
Jack: You are an idiot. I—I could’ve handled it. I could’ve helped you handle it.
Jen: Well, you will help me handle it. I need you.